Welcome to Flanders

When I first moved to Belgium, my wife and I lived in the Brussels region. The Brussels region is officially bi-lingual, which means that all official businesses (post offices, courts, etc.) must be able to provide their services in both Dutch and French. There is also a Flemish (Flanders) region, where only services in Dutch are necessary and a Walloon region, where only services in French are necessary. In the Brussels and Walloon regions, if you wish to get something done, it is definitely useful to know French. But, neither of these regions requires you to learn French (or Dutch or German, for that matter) nor do they require anything more specific than what is required by Belgian law to live in their regions. Makes sense, right? Well…

A few months after living in our small Brussels apartment, we decided to move to the charming hometown of my wife in the Flanders region just outside of Brussels. My, how things are different.

We had not lived here long before I began to seriously consider Dutch language lessons. I could always be helped in shops and such in English, but I always felt horrible about forcing people to speak my language on their turf. I remember very clearly driving home from the larger supermarket on the edge of town thinking, “That’s it. I’m going to sign up for Dutch classes”. When I got home, there was a letter waiting for me in my mailbox. Well, two letters, actually. One in English and one in Dutch. Here is the English version of that letter:

Dear Sir,

As you have only just arrived in our country, the Flemish government draws your attention to the fact that it is your duty to attend an integration programme. This will allow you to learn Dutch and receive a lot of useful information about the Flemish society.

Among other things, your duty implies that you have to be prompt to present yourself to the welcome office. Upon your registration at the welcome office, a contract mentioning the courses you should attend, will be drawn up with you. If, within three months of the registration in the municipality, you do not present yourself to the welcome office or do not observe your contract, you may be punished with a fine.

In some cases, you may be exempt from your duty to attend an integration programme. To that end, you should contact the welcome office of which the address is mentioned on the Dutch side of this letter.

We are confident that you will present yourself promptly to the welcome office.

Yours faithfully,

On behalf of the Board of Mayor and Aldermen,

The Mayor

The Secretary

I like how they call it a “welcome" office. Not terribly welcoming, if you ask me.

Suddenly, I didn’t want to learn Dutch or even live in Flanders anymore. I’ve always been one who would, for lack of a better word, rebel against what I’m being told I must do. If you ask me nicely, no problem, but don’t tell me I have to do something.

Once I calmed down, I decided to stick with my plan to learn Dutch. That still made sense and the decision was originally made on my own terms. I also eventually (it took me a few weeks) decided to see what this integration thing is all about.

I presented myself to the welcome office and discovered that, besides the mandatory language classes, it is mandatory that I take a 60-hour integration course. That’s right, 60 hours! And no, since I’m not in Belgium on a short-term work contract or student visa or anything so temporary, I was not exempt.

Now, let me say here that I don’t find all of this stuff that bad. I’m living on their land, I should follow their rules. But, here’s what really gets me: These courses are only required for non-European Union citizens. If everybody was held to the same standard, I would be annoyed, but I would dutifully follow the rules. I’ve been married to a Belgian (from Flanders) for more than 13 years and have made numerous trips to Belgium, yet I am in more need of integration courses than someone from Latvia or Greece who has never set foot in the country. OK, OK, I’m not the intended audience here. I just happen to be the dolphin who got caught in the tuna net. This makes it even worse, in my opinion. There is a massive number of immigrants coming to Belgium from parts of Africa, particularly Morocco, who speak French. It seems pretty obvious to me that they are the ones targeted by the Flemish government.

Wow, I’m digressing here. I’ll leave the politics and accusations of racism out of this for now and fast forward to nearly a year later. I’ve completed my required Dutch course and have just started another. I never did sign a contract, but I did finally agree to take a 30-hour “intensive” integration course which would fulfill my integration requirements.

I’ll back up a moment… About that contract. I had one written up which states that I’ll take the required courses, bla bla bla, but I never signed it. I read somewhere that I could get fined for not signing the contract. It seems to me that a contract is a voluntary agreement between two parties. Forcing me to sign something is contradictory to that definition, isn’t it? I’m still fulfilling the obligations.

Whew, sorry this entry is so long, but now we get to the fun part. Last week I attended the first class of the integration course. This is going to provide for multiple entertaining blog entries. Paging through the book that was provided, there are no topics that I don’t know or can’t figure out on my own by asking my wife or her family. Oh wait! Here’s something interesting! How can you become a Belgian? Page 92 with subheadings Are you married to a Belgian? and Naturalization, pages 92 and 93. This is definitely interesting to me. I’ve already acquired quite a bit of information on these subjects, but I’m curious to see what this book has to say, so I turn the pages. I turn to page 69, turn the page again and the next page is 98. HAHA! This really made me laugh out loud. I guess none of us in the class will become Belgian. For one thing, we wouldn’t have to take this class. Instead, we’ll learn more useful things like Taking a Taxi, page 62 and Withdrawing cash money from the cash dispensers, page 155.